Monday, 23 July 2018

Not Too Old To Be Mum - Elisa

This week’s "Not Too Old To Be Mum" is with Elisa from Only Elisa Knows.

First of all congratulations on your baby. How old were you when you had your baby/babies?

Thank you. I am 39 years old going 40 when I had my first baby. I conceived him at age 39 and give birth at the age of 40. It was 4 months to my 40th birthday.

Tell me a bit about yourself and your main reasons for having a child(ren) after the age of 35?
I am separated for more than 10 years. I am an emotionally battered wife. My ex-husband called me a swine which refers to a pig who cannot give birth. It is degrading as he created a rumour against me.  I have no idea why we don't have a child for more than 13 years. Some said that our chromosomes are incompatible. After a few years, I found the strength to leave him. To make story short. I found a job and a man who is 8 years younger than me. I didn't expect that I am carrying a child because of what happened in my past.  So, there is no definite reason why I have a child at this age.  I did not do anything. What I remember is I (do) prayed hard to have a child.

Did you have any problems with falling pregnant? If you did, would you say age was a contributing factor?
The only problem I face is the first month of pregnancy. I thought I am sick. I had runny nose and headache. I feel weird because this day, I am not okay but feel great the next day. I had a nausea, too. My ob-gyne was thankful I did not take a tablet which I almost did. She keep telling me that at my age pregnancy is risky. Yes, age is a contributing factor for pregnancy because our body, our strength differs when we are young. What I did is avoid too much sugar, more on fruits, veggies and exercise like walking. 
Did you have any complications with your pregnancy or labour that you feel were caused by being older?

No, I don't have complications, though. The exercise wasn't enough, I think. I have a hard time holding my breath and push my baby out. But, my OB-Gyne was patiently waiting and giving me an ample time to push in which I did. 
Were you treated differently by medical professionals because of your age? If you were, how did that make you feel?

Yes, they treated me fairly. I have no problem with it.
If you had children before and after you were 35, were there any differences with the pregnancy, labour and you as a parent? Would you put these down to age differences?
I think the only difference I saw between age differences is the strength and energy.
What do you feel are the pros and cons for having a baby after 35?
I feel insulted even if its the reality. Its a personal issue and I wasn't thinking of it. Someone calculates both my age and my son. That I'm 60 and my son's age is like this. I did not ask his opinion. 
Do you plan on having any more children? If not, what are your main reasons? And if you would like more, what worries you the most about the prospect of having more?
That's a good question. Yes, I plan to have one more when my son was only 2 to 3 years old. I want him to have a brother or sister as his playmate. It breaks my heart watching him go wild from stopping his friends from going home. He would cry and step on the doorway. Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage. It was not the age but a situation wherein my son played in my tummy. I do not know it was there.
I'm not worried. I'm the type of person who cross my fingers until I get there.

If you could do your time over, would you choose to have your children younger?
Oh my, that question brings me back to my ex-husband. (laughing) Just kidding! I choose to have children younger. I might have more than I have right now. 
What advice do you have for any women thinking of having a child past the age of 35?
Although, we can not choose what age we can have a child because it is a God-given gift. I advice you to pray no matter what situation you are in. 
If you are young and no health issues, please do not plan of having a child past 35. Your strength and energy differs when you are younger. 
If you are 35, take care of yourself and eat healthy for your child.

Thanks for taking part Elisa and sharing your story. If you’d like to hear more from Elisa, you can visit her at heblog or over on InstagramTwitterFacebook and Pinterest.

To read other women's stories click here.

To discuss taking part in the Not Too Old To Be Mum series, please send me an email.

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